I don't do celebrity gossip. I am blessed to know many folk who
are in the public eye and number many as good friends but to chatter about them
is, to my old fashioned sensibilities, a little crass.
But I thought I should drop a little insight into that world here
without mentioning how I know what I know and, if you fancy, invite you to
comment.
People are shouting a lot on Twitter at the moment about the end
of the world being on us thanks to the Muslim hoard. They tell us our society
will be undermined and we need to send all the johnnies home (despite the fact
that this is their home) or some such bollocks. But funnily enough on one level
I do agree with them; we are living through an era where our society is being
undermined, when the values we all hold dear are being shovelled out of the
window. But it has nothing to do with Muslims and everything to do with the
boys in blue.
Coppers have been pretty upset of late by the government daring
to suggest that their Association is corrupt. They also got themselves in a
fizz when they backed a bunch of lying bizzies who were trying to get a
Minister sacked for riding his bike. They are now getting their own back.
Coppers are no different to most folk. If they get a chance to
meet somebody famous they get all excited. The thing is though that they can
arrange it whereas you probably can't. They get to meet these folk by arresting
them. Usually some sad, attention seeking tosser with a compensation lawyer in
tow has turned up and said they got their arse felt and whilst it's not much of
a claim the fuzz know that by using the press they can get a celeb to sit down
and chat to them. They might even be able to find a bunch of other fantasists
who are willing to say stuff and that means they get to meet the celeb a few
more times, get an autograph, maybe even a song.
Then they line up all the compensation lawyers and instead of
shooting them (that would be public service) they call the CPS and ask this
left wing bunch of clowns if they fancy taking it on. Of course the CPS has
become an ally of the beak, they've had cuts too so anything to upset the apple
cart and they're up for it. So we have a trial.
The pigs feed the press with everything before the trial so the
jury are either just back from a sight seeing trip to Syria or they've made
their minds up before it starts. Now this used to be illegal - but now that we operate guilty until proven
innocent it's all fine.
The well briefed witnesses, who have been coached by the Met on
how this will all go down, give their best attempt at outIining why they need
the celebs money and the prosecution keeps their identities secret so the
defence can't take a closer look at them and establish that they are nut jobs
with attention needs (and money needs) so the jury, who've already made their
mind up, don't get to know anything about the witnesses. Then the celeb stands
up and gets hung, drawn and quartered.
Oh how they laugh down the pub as they eagerly leaf through Heat
magazine trying to decide who to go after next. It's a great job and could see
them through to retirement and the fat pensions that are at the centre of this
whole business.
But they are unstoppable. They have looked at David Bowie, Ozzy
and the boys, Duran Duran and even Sir Bruce. Meatloaf, the front man from the
Bay City Rollers (yup he's still alive) and even John Craven. Everybody who has
ever been famous is fair game (that includes you Noel). And game it is; endless
investigations costing millions.
During the 80's and 90's I spent years on tour with some of the
biggest acts in the world. As band manager I had clout both on stage and off.
And just about every night I got offers from women who wanted to climb into the
after match party by offering to climb into my pants. Some I accepted, most I
didn't. But I cannot remember where or when these ambitious young ladies
featured in my bed sheets. It happened, it still does, but nothing was about
abuse. I also never asked to see proof of age but I'm fairly confident they
were all legal (but how can I be certain?).
The fact is maybe you, the great unwashed, are jealous that folk
like me got to bag a few blondes along the way, but I doubt you are so sad as
to try and put me behind bars simply because my bedpost score is better than
yours. But the blue meanies are. Anything to make society crumble. Anybody is
sport for these fuckers.
But maybe his time they've met their match. With each case the
celeb world shares info. Cliff has been on their radar for quite some time and
he was ready for them. His lawyers have already pointed out at South Yorkshire
Plod may have breached his judicial rights. Yewtree has been warned they will
expose the accusers, and Cliff is calling in some favour cards. So if, and I
say if, this lad who got fondled at a Christian gathering in Sheffield is
telling the truth (which I doubt for reasons I cannot tell you) he will find
things a little different as will Mr Plod.
And now that the celeb lawyers have got their heads around what
is happening Yewtree might find that it's 'jobs for life' strategy isn't quite
how it's going to be. Rolf has an appeal in and the substance that’s
in it is really worrying the CPS, even Stuart Hall may be on his way back to
take a poke at them.
I hate Plod, I have no time for governments who don't keep them
in line and my contempt for the press is immeasurable. I know this lot will all
now come down on the like a ton of bricks and, in the middle of all that, the
BBC is going to have a very tough time. Celebrities are operating a silent
protest, turning down offers to fill those never ending chat show couches. But
at the end of the day it could all have been so different.
The police have the lowest approval rating ever. Very few people
in this country trust them to be fair and do what's best for the populace. They
could have improved all that but instead they've stepped up the stakes and now
there's no going back.
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