Sunday 7 September 2014

Scotland and her divorce

They'd been having relationship issues for some time. Whilst he merrily ran through life confident in his decisions and friendships, she was unhappy and felt she was living her life vicariously through him.

When she told him she was unhappy he patted her on the head and said he knew best. When she said she was thinking of leaving him he ignored it, bought her the occasional bunch of flowers, agreed to go and visit her mum more often but still wanted his dinner on the table when he got home.

When she started divorce proceedings he told her she wouldn't survive without him. He said she'd be 'nothing', her finances would be a mess, the cozy life she had now was all down to him and she'd sink into oblivion. He almost got to the point of threatening her. She wouldn't be getting the house or the car he'd bought her. All their friends would side with him.

She waivered, maybe he was right, what sort of a life would it be. But in the end she knew it would be better even if it was hard. So he made more concessions. He would give her more control over the finances, if she wanted the new toaster he'd let her choose it, she could even redecorate the bedroom.

But never once did he admit that he needed her. That he loved her and couldn't imagine life without her. That as a couple they were ten times better than the sum of their parts. He was a mans man, he didn't do that, admitting he needed her just wasn't in his lexicon.

Nobody knows what she will do. Maybe she'll decide to take the concessions and limp along for another few years. But he'll never change and deep inside she knows that. He's just not the romantic, sharing type and that won't alter. He's not a social caring chap; she cares about friends while he sees them as a means to an end - his end.

In a few days time she will decide if she's going to leave him for good. If she's brave enough she will have a tough time. He'll throw his toys out of the pram, make it tough for her, tell everybody else not to talk to her. But in a few years time she'll be a better person. She will do the things she values, she'll make new friends and find ways to be her own person.

He'll be ok too, but will have to realise how much he needed her and that she leaves a hole in his life.

The Scottish Independence referendum is in a few days time. Will she be brave enough to make her own way in the world or will she stay with the bossy misogynist for a while longer.

There's nowt so strange as folk........

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